Viper
by Solosorca
Summary: Momo falls in love with a stripper. Ryoma wants to go home.


"Do we really have to come here?" Echizen whined as they walked up to the strip club, "again."

Momo had no idea what Echizen was complaining about, they'd only come here four times in the past week. One time had been a bit pointless because the person Momo had really wanted to see hadn't been working that night (and Echizen was never going to let him live that down)

"I have a boyfriend at home who's willing to strip for me for free," Echizen continued. Momo shivered, he did notneed to have the mental image of Tezuka stripping, "I could be at home now with him, but instead I'm at some stupid strip club."

"It would be creepy if I came here by myself!"

"It's already creepy," Echizen muttered, "just ask him out, already!"

"What are you talking about? We're just two guys having fun at a all male strip club! We're not here for anything else!"

Echizen rolled his eyes, "keep telling yourself that."

They took their usual table near the middle of the room. Echizen immediately went to get drinks, not wanting to be sober.

"Are you sure he's working tonight?" Echizen asked.

"What do you mean?" Momo replied, pretending to be interested in watching the guy currently on the stage.

"You know exactly what I mean."

The man on stage finished his routine and was clapped enthusiastically off the stage.

"I'm bored," Echizen whined and Momo wished he would shut up for a second whilst he tried to listen to who was on the stage next.

The lights dimmed and a spotlight shone to the door at the back of the stage.

"Please welcome to the stage," A voice said, "the sensational Viper."

"Oh, he is here," Echizen said, downing the rest of his beer and then getting to his feet and grabbing Momo's arm. "Come on," he insisted and pulled a protesting Momo to the edge of the stage.

"What are you doing?!" Momo cried, wondering where all Echizen's strength had come from.

"Look, either you ask him out or I will tell Fuji," Echizen said threateningly, "and you can come here with him."

Momo gulped, "You wouldn't."

"I would," Echizen said, "by the end of tonight I expect you to either have a date or a rejection, if not then Fuji can take my place." With that he left and went to the bar, leaving Momo panicking by the side of the stage with all the other Viper fans.

How was he supposed to play this? But then the music started playing and all thoughts flew from Momo's brain as the door opened and Viper walked out, all glistening muscles wrapped in tight leather.

He watched the routine in a stupor, his mouth dry and unable to tear his eyes away from the flexing muscles that were slowly revealed.

Someone poked his back once the routine was over, knocking Momo out of his muscle induced daze. He looked around and saw Echizen smirking at him.

"What?" Momo snapped, feeling his face turn red.

"Go around the back to the stage door," Echizen said, "He normally leaves as soon as he's dressed."

"How do you know?"

Echizen motioned to the bar where several of the strippers were sitting around, chatting and having drinks, "I got talking to them, they're pretty cool."

"Right," Momo said, he'd clearly underestimated Echizen's sociability.

"Go," Echizen insisted, giving Momo a push, "his name is Kaidoh Kaoru, by the way."

"Thanks," Momo said, his brain finally kicking into gear, "you're the best wingman ever!"

"If you chicken out then you'll have Fuji as your wingman," Echizen said and Momo sprinted off. Anything but that.

There were a couple of men wrapped in thick coats around the back of the building, smoking and chatting with each other.

"Hi," Momo said walking up to them, "has Kaidoh left yet?"

The two men looked at each other then one replied, "not yet."

"I think he's handing in his notice," the other said, "he's got himself another job."

Momo nodded and was extremely happy that he'd dragged Echizen here tonight. The door opened and Kaidoh came out, now fully clothed in non-leather clothing.

"This guy was waiting for you," one of the men said, pointing at Momo and Kaidoh looked at him, frowning.

"Hi," Momo said, lamely, "urm… can I walk with you?" He asked, not wanting to ask Kaidoh out in front of two strangers.

"Fine," Kaidoh said gruffly and they set off together. "What do you want?" he asked as they set off across the car park.

"Will you go out with me?" Momo asked before he could realise it was a bad idea.

Kaidoh stopped dead in his tracks and grabbed Momo's collar, "what the hell?" He snarled, "You think just because you've seen me naked that you're in love with me!"

"No, I don't!" Momo snapped back, "I saw you jogging a week ago and thought you were hot, then my friend dragged me here and I saw you and thought I would ask you out!" He realised he was throwing Echizen under a bus, but he'd make up for it somehow.

Kaidoh's grip on his loosened, "really?"

"Yeah," Momo said, "he really likes going to strip clubs, it's really creepy actually."

Kaidoh let him go, "Sorry," he said gruffly, "there are lots of creeps who come here everyday just to watch me."

"So, is that a yes to a date?" Momo asked and was sure for a second Kaidoh was going to punch him. Instead a piece of paper was shoved into his hand.

"That's my number," Kaidoh said, not looking at Momo.

"I'll call you in the morning," Momo promised. "I need to go and get my friend," he said, "but I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Fine," Kaidoh said gruffly, "see you later."

And with that he was gone.

Momo felt like he was floating on the air as he walked back into the club, Kaidoh's number safely in his pocket. Now all he had to do was explain to Echizen that Kaidoh now thought he was a creep who hung around strip clubs every night.


End file.
